Male suicide: ‘His death was the missing piece of the jigsaw’

Statues on top of the ITV Television Centre
Statues have been erected in London to represent the 84 men who take their own lives each week in the UK

Suicide is the single biggest killer of men under 45 in the UK – 84 take their own lives every week. A new campaign, Project84, aims to raise awareness and sees sculptures placed on the top of a London tower block.

“People say the wounds heal but you still have the scars,” says Jonny Sharples, whose elder brother Simon, 36, took his own life in 2014.

“I remember when it happened. I was at home on my own watching a rerun of Match of the Day and I got a phone call from my sister.

“I was in tears. I went down to see her in Staines, where she lives, and then we saw my parents in Cornwall. It was Christmas, which made it more difficult.

“Simon adored Christmas, even in his thirties he would get up at five in the morning and wake everyone else up to open presents.

“It was difficult to be together [after his death], to look around a room and see he was absent.”

Simon SharplesSimon Sharples took his own life in 2014

Jonny is helping to remember his brother through the Project84 campaign, set up by the charity CALM.

Eighty-four sculptures have been erected on top of London Television Centre, with each figure representing one of the men, each week on average, who ends their life.

The campaign aims to raise awareness about the prevalence and devastating impact of male suicide in the UK. And the fact that mental health issues affect people from all sections of society.

Jonny says of his brother: “He was a normal, level-headed and unremarkable in many respects. But to anyone who knew him he was a really special person. He was always smiling and making you laugh.

“He’d always give you an honest answer, would always give you a helping hand.”

Away from friends and family, though, Simon – a father of one – was suffering. A year of upheaval saw him change jobs and move out of his Preston home. In December 2014 he took his own life.

Simon and Jonny SharplesJonny Sharples says Simon was the “archetypal older brother”

“It’s only with the benefit of hindsight you knew he wasn’t quite himself,” Jonny says.

“When he was watching football or playing golf, doing the things he loved, he was distracted. He was not quite as smiley but was still enjoying himself.

“It’s only with the knowledge that he did end up taking his own life that things fall into place. His death was maybe the missing piece of the jigsaw.”


Marcus Chapman (left) with his friend Nelson PrattMarcus Chapman (left) moved in with Nelson Pratt after knowing him for just a week

Marcus Chapman was 33 when his best friend Nelson Pratt, from Hampshire, and also 33, took his own life.

The two met on a snowboarding course in France and, after just a week, decided to move in together.

“Nelson was very old fashioned British gent, impeccably polite, moral and well-mannered but also incredibly talented,” says Marcus. “He was very self-deprecating. He had the chance to be arrogant but chose to be the opposite.”

Nelson had a successful snowboarding career and became a coach for some of Britain’s Olympic riders.

He had a supportive and loving family, but as his friends began to settle down and have children he found himself conflicted.

“The stage of life he was at, a lot of us were settling down, getting married and having families and I think Nelson had a lot of different pressures,” says Marcus.

“Balancing his snowboarding career with jobs back in the UK. There was definitely a bit of a wrestle there.”

Nelson PrattNelson was a “popular, loved man”

Nelson sought help, however, Marcus feels he was “let down”.

“Nelson went to see his GP, there was a waiting list for therapy and he was given an online course to do. Two days later he took his own life.”

The experiences of men who take their own lives vary, but those left behind are unified on how society should prevent their stories recurring.

They say stigmas and stereotypes need to be abandoned and avenues for support must be opened up.

“The myth is that someone who takes their own life is weak,” says Jonny. “I don’t think for a moment my brother was a weak person. I think he was very strong.

“We need to create a society where men are comfortable to talk about how they are feeling in the knowledge that the person they are speaking to will offer them the best help and solutions they can.”

Marcus adds: “It’s about having those very early conversations, sometimes close family members are the hardest people to talk to. That’s why things like the CALM helpline are so important.

“The only way I dealt with Nelson’s death was to throw myself into his legacy and raising awareness.

“I don’t think Nelson’s family will ever fully recover from the hole that has been left.

“Nelson was such a popular, loved guy – a personality like that doesn’t get forgotten.”

 

 

Link to BBC article here

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Project 84: Charity CALM calls for action on male suicide

The sculptures of 84 men, made by American artist Mark Jenkins and his collaborator, Sandra Fernandez, part of Project 84, a campaign to raise awareness of the fact that 84 men take their own lives every week in the UK, ontop of London Television Centre after the installation was unveiled
The 84 sculptures on top of a central London building represent the number of men who take their own lives every week.
Suicide is one of the leading causes of death among men in Britain – and yet it is rarely talked about by the country’s leaders.

Every two hours a man in the UK takes his own life – that’s 84 every week, largely unseen, other than by the family and friends they leave behind.

But it would be difficult to walk past the 84 sculptures standing on top of the This Morning studios and ITV’s headquarters on London’s South Bank without noticing.

They are part of a campaign by CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) to start a conversation about male suicide in a bid for improved suicide prevention and bereavement support.

The sculptures of 84 men, made by American artist Mark Jenkins and his collaborator, Sandra Fernandez, part of Project 84, a campaign to raise awareness of the fact that 84 men take their own lives every week in the UK, ontop of London Television Centre after the installation was unveiled. PRESS ASSOCIATION Photo. Picture date: Monday March 26, 2018
CALM wants to raise awareness of the fact that 84 men take their own lives every week
 Each represents a man who took their own life and their family and friends worked with American artist, Mark Jenkins, and his collaborator Sandra Fernandez to create each figure.

On the project’s website are the names and details of each of the men, with stories told by those close to them.

They are from different backgrounds, of different ages and races, but what many of them have in common is that they tried to keep their struggles from those close to them.

As one daughter says of her father: “He hid it all too well”.

View image on TwitterView image on Twitter

View image on TwitterView image on Twitter
 The sculptures were unveiled on Monday, as CALM’s chief executive Simon Gunning said the support organisation “has been campaigning and providing support services for 11 years but, try as we might, it isn’t enough to tackle the enormous problem of male suicide”.

He said: “Project 84 is all about making the scale of the situation very clear to everyone who sees the sculptures, and we hope that, by working with the families and friends of real men who have taken their lives, we can face the enormous issue of suicide together and strive for change.”

View image on Twitter

View image on Twitter

The project is also being run alongside a petition calling for a Government minister to take on official responsibility for suicide prevention and bereavement support.

The petition, started by Matthew Smith, who lost his brother to suicide, has more than 103,000 signatures.

On Twitter, the project was described as “bold”, “hard-hitting” and “powerful”, but some said it was too much.

Clare Whitby wrote on Twitter: “Powerful and necessary campaign but the image is too close home for me, and many others I’m sure. Difficult, because I wholeheartedly believe in the campaign itself.”

Ollie DG wrote: “It’s great for the awareness but it is a little dark and haunting.”

Mr Gunning said: “With Project 84, we wanted to make the scale of the situation very clear to everyone that sees the sculptures.

“By working with the families and friends of men who have taken their own lives to highlight individual stories, we hope to make the impersonal thoroughly personal.”

:: If you feel suicidal or vulnerable, if you’re worried that someone you know may be feeling suicidal or if you need support after losing a loved one to suicide, go to CALM for advice, support lines and webchat.

You can also contact the Samaritans or call 116 123. In the US call the Samaritans branch in your area or 1 (800) 273-TALK.

 

 

Link to Sky News Article here 

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